Self-Esteem 5-Day Challenge: Day 4

Day 4: Eliminating Toxic Relationships

Welcome to Day 4 of the Self-Esteem Challenge. Let’s keep the ball rolling!

Today we’re going to discuss the important subject of toxic relationships.


Take out a sheet of paper and write down the three relationships that have the most toxic effect on you.

Take time to think through this. Who criticises you the most? Complains the most? Dumps their problems on you the most? Who always makes you feel like garbage?

Resolve to spend less time with these people. You may not be able to cut these people out of your life, but you can certainly spend less time with them. Or if they are close family, maybe you can approach them about how you feel.

Now write down the three most positive people in your life. Those who encourage and affirm you the most. Those who make you feel happy. Those who appreciate you the most.

Resolve to spend MORE time with them. Call one of them and try to set up a time to get coffee together.

By eliminating toxic relationships and replacing them with positive ones, you’ll see a dramatic improvement in your self-esteem.

Okay, now it’s your turn. Write down the three negative people you’ll spend less time with, and the three positive people you’re going to spend more time with. Record in your journal how the positive people in your life make you feel. This will help to bring clarity to you.


Every person has toxic relationships in their life. People who constantly criticise. Who never stop complaining. Who only focus on the negative. Who dump all their problems on others.

These toxic relationships are INCREDIBLY detrimental to self-esteem. They make you feel bad all the time and put a dark cloud over your head.

According to Israelmore Ayivor, there are seven ways negative people affect you. They:

1. Demean your value
2. Destroy your image
3. Drive you crazy
4. Dispose your dreams
5. Discredit your imagination
6. Deframe your abilities
7. Disbelieve your opinions

Record your response to each of these points. Do you agree? Why or why not? Which one resonates most strongly with you?

It’s time for you to SURROUND yourself with people who affirm and value you. With people who love you for who YOU are.

Coming next

So you’ve almost made it, just one day to go in the challenge. Tomorrow we’re going to talk about the importance of affirming others.